Obey your master!

Look, it's as simple as this:

If you supported the Superhuman Registration Act and the Initiative when Tony Stark was running things, you should be supporting Norman Osborn without hesitation. In point of fact, you should be CHEERING HIM ON.

Why, you may ask?

Well, has the Registration Act itself changed? No.

Has the need for superhumans to be registered and overseen by the law changed? No.

So, for those of you who supported the Registration, well, nothing's changed. Except the guy on top.

Well, let's compare, shall we?

"Norman Osborn is brining unrepentant criminals into the Initiative! He's going to be in charge of an army of supervillains!"

As opposed to Tony Stark, who was the one who actually brought unrepentant criminals such as Bullseye, Taskmaster, Venom, and Norman Osborn into the mix to begin with. Please try again.

Norman Osborn made a secret pact with a group of powerful criminals!

Right. And Tony and his group of super-secret friends who killed a bunch of Skrulls and kidnapped and shot the Hulk into space are not at all the same kind of thing. Except it is.

Norman Osborn has an agenda and bends and distorts the rules for his own ends!

And so did Tony every time he didn't go after the New Avengers. Or Spider-Man. Or Daredevil. If Tony can make exceptions, so can Norman.

The Initiative is corrupt and will fail because of Norman Osborn!

It'd be pretty damn hard for the Initiative to fail any more than it already has.

OK, well, fine, you say. But it doesn't change the fact that Tony is a decent man, and Norman a corrupt one. Well, as far as that is concerned, I'll let Nighthawk speak for me.

Do you understand now? If all it took was one man to turn the Initiative from a "good idea" to a "bad idea", then IT WAS ALWAYS A BAD IDEA. This was the reason commonly brought against Doom and Magneto: sure they could make Earth a paradise; as long as they were alive. After them, it would all fall apart. So making the Initiative and the SHRA dependent on any one man, no matter how noble, meant that it was fatally flawed from its very inception.

Pick the Best Caption

Once more on the Initiative

OK, for those of you whom haven't read any of these rants, or just want the short and sweet, here's a shorthand guide to why the whole "Superhero Registration/50 State Initiative" was never going to work:

1) GOING AGAINST THE NATURE OF SUPERHERO DRAMA

In a universe based on the rules that apply in our reality, yes, the idea of registering superhumans sounds like a pretty pragmatic and good one.

Except, no matter how much we want it to, the Marvel Universe isn't realistic.

The whole concept of the Initiative is that "it will make people safer and run things more efficiently" but that runs EXACTLY counter to the very nature of superhero comics (Things are falling apart, and we need a hero to save us!) and the constant raising of the stakes. Now, outside of characters saying "Oh, super-crime is soooo down", well, the evidence suggests the exact opposite, so we are forced to either suspend our disbelief about the Marvel Universe or...well, we are right back where we started? Either way, you have believe something that doesn't fit in with our conception of reality.

2) ANTI-INITIATIVE HEROES: INEFFECTUAL OUTLAW HYPOCRITES.

OK, here's the problem with the Anti-Registration side: They don't have a plan. I mean, has there been one single panel that addresses what it is they plan to DO to overturn the SHRA? I mean, otherwise, there's really not much point in continuing on if you're never going to address what it is you are rebelling against? Has anyone talked about lobbying the government? Forming a movement? Or is the plan "Keep fighting the good fight until people realize we are right and Stark is wrong"? Because, wow, that's a terrible plan that has no chance of succeeding. It would be like saying "Hey, you know how we can get emission standards changed for the better? Drive around in shitty SUVs until oil prices go though the roof and we have no choice to change!" I mean, hey, it'll work, but it's not exactly heroic. Then again, I'm not sure there's a writer who could make superheroes lobbying the goverment and forming a social movement into anything other than an even lamer farce than Civil War to begin with.

In the meantime, we are stuck with "heroes" who are, on paper, just as criminal as the people they are fighting. Doesn't exactly inspire, does it?

3) PRO-INITIATIVE HEROES: INEFFECTUAL AUTHORITARIAN HYPOCRITES

As for the Initiative, well, it'd be nice if we had any proof that things were better now than in the Pre-Stamford Days. However, the evidence indicates the opposite. So, other than a handwave about how much better things are, well, we don't see it. Ever. Furthermore, the people running the system are highly selective about enforcement, deciding on a whim how and when to enforce the system like, say, everytime the Mighty Avengers encounter the New Avengers. Or why Tony Stark hasn't shown up at Matt Murdock's offices. Or any of a dozen other cases where the high command of the Initiative decided to act as if they were the law personified. This goes against the very nature of democratic government and the idea of no one being beyond the law. If the Initiative have taken it upon themselves to say whom is subject to the laws and when, then nothing has really changed, except that the leaders of the Initiative have been invested with massive government powers that they wield with little or no safeguard or oversight. Which was sort of the point of the SHRA in the first place.

So there you have it. The Initiative, and how it's kind of broken the back of the Marvel Universe in terms of making any kind of realistic sense. Your thoughts?

Friday Night Physics

Tonight's edition will be short and to the point. It also features Iron Man again. It's becoming readily apparent to me that most of my Engineering rants will focus on Tony's engineering works, because if we break down the various comic book universes (at least the ones that I follow), we see the following pattern

DC Universe - Very little technical content, focusing mostly on "cosmic powers" and silver age science that is sometimes incredibly dodgy. More mythic and cosmic stuff than down-to-earth actual engineering

Wildstorm Universe - There's a bit more science here, what with everything Warren Ellis contributed to that corner of the universe. Plus Astro City and Ex Machina, which occassionally feature some material worthy of addressing. But it takes a lot of dragging through all the "Bleed-tech" this and "Kherubim-tech" that in order to find the meat.

Dark Horse - Pretty much no science and all magic here.

Marvel Universe- Tony Stark does build everything. Oh, Reed and Doom have higher technology, but at the level where we consistently see their developments, and to the extent that the technology is basic to apply and at least understandable, the Marvel Universe Earth's technology is 9/10ths Tony Stark.

By the way, if there are any contributions, you the reader, would like to suggest for future Friday Night Physics, put'em in the comments.

With that out of the way, let's move on to our subject, pictured below:

Iron Man's Power-Generating Roller Skates

OK, yes, this would work. Sort of.

Let's get the first line out of the way: A Transistor is not a power source, it's a means ot controlling the flow of power. The phrase "Transistor-powered" only really makes sense if you take it as similar to the idea that your computer is powered by "Intell Centrino Duo Core". If that works for you, fine. But your processor doesn't power your computer, and as long as you understand that, we can leave it at that.

The biggest issue here is the idea that he can use the rollerskates to recharge his armor The answer is yes, but only under certain circumstances. First, you have to realize that in order to generate actual energy, the wheels would have to be outfitted with a power generation mechanism (not unlike those toy cars kids that you could rub on the ground until they got enough power in them to take off on their own). The problem with this is that this mechanism would make it harder to turn the wheels, and Tony would thus have to push much harder in order to move. Which is fine if he isn't in a hurry to get anywhere, but it's not so helpful if, say, there's an Avengers emergency going on. In other instances where he's used skates, they've had rockets on them (one assumes a solid fuel mix, as that would be the most efficient in terms of space) in order to propell himself forward, which would solve this particular problem.

Another issue to consider is whether he could generate a significant amount of power from the skates. Consider that according to Tony's thought balloon there, he can recharge his entire armor by skating around town, and we are talking about 200 lbs of armor with repulsor rays, a uni-beam, jet boots, and whatever else Tony has crammed in there (one assumes a mini-bar, at the very least). That's a lot of power he needs, and when you consider that you need a fairly large wind turbine to power an average house, I'm less than confident that he could recharge after a 20 minute stroll. On the other hand, one imagines with all that skating he's done with the extra weight and resistance from the power generation mechanisms, he'd have some serious buns of steel. So, I guess Tony's willing to suffer in order to give the ladies what they want.

Cheers!

Friday Night Physics

OK, just under the wire here, but this counts for Friday, right?

THE SHIELD HELICARRIER:

I'm actually a bit torn in doing this, because the SHIELD HELICARRIER is just one of those things that are JUST THAT AWESOME. I mean, it's Kirby, right? And Kirby is Awesome, no? Look athe posters here, you know why there are no posters featuring the Helicarrier? Because no mere poster can contain the sheer awesome of that image and do it a lick of justice. NONE. But just because something is a cool visual, doesn't mean it's great sciences, as you are about to see.

OK, let's get the first bit out of the way: Newton's Third Law of physics: For every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. So, those four Helicopter blades (or Fan jets, depending on the model) are pushing against the ground with a force equal to the weight of an AIRCRAFT CARRIER. Those things ain't light, which means that anything under those jets would get smushed. Nevermind any unlucky burds that would shredded to chicken grease if they fly into the engines.

There's also the question of design. Aircraft carriers are designed in such a way that...well, there aren't a lot of guns and whatnot at the bottom, and you would think that would be a major sticking point when designing an aircraft. Now, there's definetly a great deal of evidence to suggest that SHIELD has long since addressed this flaw and added some weapons to the underbelly. In addition, they would have had to make significant if not major structural changes to the frame, as Aircraft carriers are meant to be picked up like that (or at all really).

Then of course, there's the fact that the Helicarrier seems like a bad idea on the conceptual level:

-why does a SPY agency need to have a flying aircraft carrier? Seems that something that would attract that much attention really defeats the whole "stealthy spy" thing.

-Really, does having a slow moving aircraft carrier in the air really any better than having one in the water? I mean, it can't be that fast, or else there'd be a whole other ton of problems with aerodynamics and drag.

-In motion or not, the Helicarrier would be AT LEAST as hard to land on as a water-based Aircraft carrier.

-What is the strategic advantage of the Helicarrier? Making the supply lines for their aircraft shorter? Easy to pick up agents in the field? Or just to terrify the beejus out of everyone?

That last goal is accomplished very easily when you consider that the Helicarrier(s) are CONSTANTLY FALLING OUT OF THE FUCKING SKY! Seriously, it took one small superbrawl to initiate the whole SHRA, but a few dozen crashes of a nuclear-powered billion-ton trillion-dollar piece of machinery and everyone's cool? Seriously? WTF?

Just listing the most recent Helicarrier failures here:

1. Crashed when Starktech disabled (Secret Invasion)
2. Crashed in Ultron Attack (Mighty Avengers)
3. Crashed when hacked by Amadeus Cho (Incredible Hercules)
4. Crashed when attacked by Hydra-Hand alliance (Wolverine)
5. Near-Crash when attacked by Hydra (New Avengers/Civil war)
6. Near-Crash when attacked by Red Hulk (Hulk)

So, there you have it. Four crashes and two near-crashes in the last 3-4 years of comics, which is about...let's see...I'd say about 6-12 months "Marvel Time"? Yeah, real success there.

Friday Night Physics

OK, I'm really hoping to take a break from talking about Tony Stark after this one, because this is turning into an Iron Man Blog, and to be honest, I've never been THAT big a fan of the guy. However, so much of Iron Man is based on the concept of high-tech, so he's probably the best example to use for a lot of these things. At least for the moment (Anyone who wants to make requests for future Friday Night Physics topics, put it in the comments, and I promise to make a fair attempt. No biology please - we'll leave that to the experts).

Tonite We'll be discussing Tony Stark's heart assist device, and to make this easy to newcomers who might not want to know about Tony's long history of various armor-related health problems, we'll just stick with the "damaged heart" scenario and solution as depicted by the movie, ok?

So, as depicted in the film, sharpnel is either imbeded in or approaching the Left Ventricle of Tony's heart (It's never made clear to me, and I think the writers are trying to keep it deliberately vague). The Left Ventricle is the main blood pump to the rest of the human body, and as such, it is the strongest and most vital part of the heart. Now, in the movie, Yinsen makes a simple electromagnet (using iron and some wire in a coil configuration) and hooks it up to a car battery. Yinsen claims that the magnet will keep his heart beating, although how this works is really unclear. My guess here is that the magnet is cycling to act as an assist to the damaged ventricle muscle tissue by actually moving the the shrapnel. Which wouldn't be a bad idea in theory, except that since the metal fragments are embedded, each time the magnet pulls on them, it actually shreds more muscle tissue. If the fragments are just reaching the heart, then I'm not sure how the magnet "keeps his heart beating". Suffice to say, that the magnet probably just prevents decay, and so be it. And we won't discuss the "arc reactor" because, well, there's no such thing.

In real life, a damaged heart would normally be assisted with a transplant, or if a transplant wasn't immediately available, a Ventricular Assist Device (actually, this is my primary area of research) would be used. Now, the problems with this kind of a device are many; powering it, using it to match the heart rate at different levels of activity (Sleeping, standing up, sitting down, running, etc.) but the major ones are the formation of clotts and possiblity of infection. because the blood is going through an unnatural type of flow (and this is especially true of VADs that don't use pulsatile pumping), there is a high chance that the blood cells will be destroyed by the various stresses the device subjects it to, this cell death then triggers the mechanisms in the body that create blood clots, which then cause more strain on the heart, which sorta defeats the purpose of the device in the first place. Thus, patients with VADs are often on blood thinners, in addition to immunosuppressants (so the body doesn't reject the device), which then increases the risk of infection. So it's probably not the most elegant solution either, but the technology is advancing. We may not be able to get it to power hyper-sonic powered armor anytime soon though. Such is life.

And that's it. Enjoy and write in your suggestions for future Friday Night Physics!

Which side would you REALLY want to be on?

Tonite's post is inspired by kali921. I highly suggest you go over to her blog and give her much hugs and thanks. And on with Tonite's Main Event: The Initiative Vs....the Nova Corps!

Ouch. Doesn't seem like a fair fight so far, does it? But, wait, I hear you say "Well, OK, the Initiative is a rotting corpse of failure, but hey, Tony Stark is way better than a dummy like Richard Ryder" Well, let's take a look at that a little closer, shall we?

OK, Tony seems to be doing well here with a couple of scantily clad non-descript young starlets, but some would say it's quality, not quantity that matters. Let's look at how Nova is doing...

The scanitly clad Green girl, in case you are wondering, is Gamorra, the deadliest assassin in the known universe. I think we can just move on to the final face off between these two, shall we?

That's it for tonite folks!

A little bit about my Real Life

OK, since I've been back, I've mostly focused on various comic things, with some asides to general pop culture and a little politics (which is degrading into a separate form of pop culture, but that's a post for another time). So, today, I'll give you a peek into my real life.

I'm a grad student in mechanical engineering, specializing in fluid mechanics, my research nowadays is strictly in artifical heart pumps (Ventricle Assist Devices, or VADs). So, I guess me and Polite Scott could have some nifty in-depth discussions re: Tony Stark here, and his long history (and future) of heart problems and the devices he uses to keep him upright (when he's not busy knocking himself down with booze, that is).

Sadly, my life is not yet as glamorous as Tony's. Most Engineers are far closer to the "Dilbert" or Mitchell Hundred (From "Ex Machina") end of the spectrum than the "Tony Stark" end. On the other hand, Tony's engineering knowledge never comes into play except in the most generic senses: "I need to build something fast!" , "I recognize the design style and the purpose!" "I know science", etc.

Engineering is, and should be portrayed as more than that. It isn't just that you have an idea and build it; yes, that gross oversimplification can work a lot of times in fiction, but it doesn't really do the profession justice. There's also questions of ethics (something that almost never comes up, and probably should), of usability (like, ok, Tony built the armor, but the only problem Rhodey had with it was with some the mind hook up? Not the fact that he was taller and has generally been depicted as having a much more muscular frame than Stark? What the hell?), of safety and redundancy engineering, and of standards for the public and for others. That's a lot, and I think it could make for some really cool stories. But, that I'll leave for future days.

Cheers,

A Lazy Post guaranteed to get comments and hits

Ran out of time for a decent post today, so you get these instead. Enjoy

The Not-So Mighty Avengers

In theory, I shouldn't dislike this Avengers' line up. After all, it obeys most of the standard formula for an Avengers Team:


-Has at least one of the "Big Three" (Cap, Iron Man, or Thor)


-Has at least one of the "Long-Time Avengers" (Hawkeye, Wasp, Hank Pym, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Wonder Man, She-Hulk, Tigra)


-Has another character with their own Solo Title (in this case, Ms. Marvel) or just finished with some recent mini-series (in this case, this would apply to Ares, Black Widow, and/or the Sentry)


-One member who has never been an Avenger before (Again, Ares)

However, a quick look at these guys and their recent behavior gives this line up the feel of a pack of morons, nitwits and just scumbags who don't deserve to win.

We'll start with the least offensive member of the current line-up:

(NOTE: Yes, I know she does somewhat redeem herself later in the issue and has been portrayed more even-handedly in Brubaker's "Captain America". Doesn't change the fact that it was an unheroic move to begin with)

OK, if any kind of logic were being applied, there is absolutely NO REASON for the Black Widow to be pro-SHRA. Consider this; nearly EVERYONE she respects or cares about (Daredevil, Hawkeye, Captain America, Hercules, Wolverine, Nick Fury) is steadfastly on the other side, and all you've got left with is the vague notion that she cares about the law above all else, which has a hard time sticking with her past as a SPY. Last I heard, there were laws against espionage in most countries.

Next up, we've got the Big Daddy of the SHRA and the 50-State Initiative



To be fair, Tony's characterization is so all over the place that he swings from "Trying to do what he thinks is best in a bad situation" to "Outright Dogmatic Fascist" that every writer currently working with him (and there's a lot of them) are getting chronic whiplash damage trying to keep up. Still, in the Mighty Avengers, he's firmly in the "asshole" mode, as he plays the passive-aggressive leader and keeps indulging in the "futurist" excuse. But I can and probably will devote a whole post to him later.

Next up, we have long time Avenger The Wasp;



Seriously, does her portrayal here give you the idea that she simply has NOTHING better to do with her time than try and play dress up with her friends? Sorry, but man, her entire shtick so far has been pretty damn annoying.

Next up, and firmly in the "Loser" category is...



Please someone tell me what Wonder Man's powers currently are? Last time I checked in was during the Busiek/Perez era Avengers, where he had to "transform into ionic energy" to have flight and superstrength and such. So is he now back to using that "rocket belt" to fly? Can he just fly on his own despite never having had that particular power to my knowledge? Sorry, just one of those things I can't follow.

Next up, in the "Loose Cannon" category:


Ares, God of War. Yes, this remarkable guy has taken the first opportunity to abuse his position of power to settle an ancient vendetta and put his teammates in a friendly fire situation. Nice guy, really. And you just know he won't get any kind of reprimand for this. AT ALL.


And what about the Current Team Leader, Ms. Marvel?



Ahem. Yes, that about says it all, doesn't it? Seriously, when the best thing that can be said about your series is that it spends too much time on the main character, when we really could have more Aaron Stack commentary, then that is saying something indeed.

Finally, we've got our top offender, the worst of the very very worst of Mary Sue Characters to have invaded Marvel....



God I hate this guy. HATE HATE HATE him. Seriously, if there was ever a case of a Mary Sue character who just jumps in and the writers DEMAND that we respect this guy and his so-called "heroism" while all he does is angst and cry, then this is him. Seriously Marvel, WTF?

That is all for now.

STATE OF THE INITIATIVE: MADE OF FAIL!

OK, first up on the improved MPM, we'll just do a quick gloss over of the Initiative, Mark Millar's Faboulous contribution to Marvel Comics.

Oh, let's look it over.

-Failure to prevent many female superbeings from being kidnapped for auctioning (Ms. Marvel)
-Failure to protect secret identities of members from a low-level Criminal for use in his scheme to control the superheroes (New Avengers)
-Using portals to the Negative Zone for transport, even knowing it weakens the barriers between universes, possibly threatening all of existence (The Initiative)
-Sentinel Squad O*N*E* aka the Keystone cops of the Marvel Universe Seriously, have they stopped even one threat? Or done a damn thing? (All X-Books to date)
-Failure to protect Captain America, subsequent total failure to investigate or incarcerate any and all individuals involved (Captain America)
- Total failure to prevent even a limited planetary invasion (World War Hulk)
- Total failure to prevent or be prepared for any serious alien Invasion (World War Hulk, upcoming Secret Invasion, and implied in Nova)
-Total Failure of SHIELD to prevent Ultron Attack (Mighty Avengers)
-Multiple Failures of leadership and security and safety at Camp Hammond (Avengers: The Initiative)
-Failure to prevent multiple non-registered beings from escaping to Canada (Alpha Flight)
-Failure to apprehend Daredevil, despite his ID being basically an open Secret (OK, yes, Tony might have some sympathy for Matt, but somehow I doubt that would stop say, Norman Osborne or someone from the gov't from saying "no exceptions, we can't have blind men in red devil outfits running around Hell's Kitchen beating muggers because you feel sorry for them. It's the law".
-Failure to apprehend any member of the outlaw "New Avengers"
-Failure to protect American against Atlantean terrorism, and subsequent failure of SHIELD to contain Atlantis. Failure to prevent Namor/Doom Alliance and Atlantean Sleeper cells from going global. (Sub-Mariner)
-Failure to apprehend Runaways, The New Warriors, and the Loners (who should be considered as in violation of Registration terms as I understand them, if they are even registered).
-Breakout at the Raft, AGAIN (New Avengers - SHIELD BUGGERED UP AGAIN)
-Failure to protect the identity and family of a registered Hero (Tigra, New Avengers)
-Failure to protect nuclear launch codes and government secrets and government properties from a rogue Initiative member (Penance)
-Failure to capture perpetrators of an Alaskan village from Purifiers and Marauders (X-Men: Messiah Complex), which subsequently lead to a cross-country mutant war and the deaths of Sentinel Squad O.N.E., among others. Hell, the fact that the Purifiers (High-tech anti-mutant terrorists) are able to openly recruit kind of high-lights the effectiveness of the Initiative, doesn't it?
-Total Failure at all levels of Camp Hammond, including a Skrull Infiltrator, a Hydra Infiltrator, and God only knows what else (Avengers, the Initiative)
-Failure to prevent Symbiote Bomb (Mighty Avengers)
-Corruption of Initiative and SHIELD resources and allowing Extremis technology to fall into the hands of the Mandarin (Iron man)
-Failure of SHIELD to prevent potential lethal attack on SHIELD director by a prisoner in the Helicarrier (Captain America)
-Failure to reform, capture, or prevent the re-empowerement of Tarantula (Daredevil)
-Failure to prevent Hell's Kitchen from going up in a mad blaze of insanity-causing chemical drug madness. Subsequent failure to detain the Enforcers, Razor Fist, or Mr. Fear (Daredevil).



Geez, makes you wonder how badly things would have gone if they hadn't even bothered, huh?