Well, today's been lousy. It's pretty bad when the Mayor tells you to leave town to find a job.

Sorry I'm not feeling much in the mood for fresh stuff, but I found this email I sent to a friend whom was uncertain of what to expect of University dorm life. So, for those of you whom haven't experienced it, here's a fair warning;

DORM PEOPLE TYPES

1) Fearless leader- He's the guy who plans everything important;
parties, pranks, getting togethers. He's a social butterfly and
everyone hangs around him. The drawback is that this guy is the
first to get blamed when the pranks go wrong or the Don gets wise to
whatever's happening.

Recommended strategy: Befriend, but keep enough distance to avoid
going down with him if the shit hits the fan.

2) MacGuyver - need an extra extension cord? Duct Tape? Someone to
modify the antenna on your 9" TV so it can suddenly pick up the
Rogers cable feed in the main hall? Go to this guy, as he is
seemingly prepared for nuclear winter and has an arsenal of tricks,
gadgets, and supplies at his beck and call. (Note: This was me, and
yes, I did rig an antenna and it did somehow catch the cable
signal).

3) Zealot -Religous nutcase who follows the ethics to the annoyance
of all others. You will not win an arguement with this guy based on
his faith, so don't try. However, these people are generally
harmless, but if they try and push you around, cut them off at the
kneecaps.

4) Star Trek guy- Every floor (especially in engineering) has one
of these.
Recommended Strategy: Again, generally harmless, but you should
probably avoid, just to save your sex life. Then again, they can be
very good people, so keep in contact.

5) Guy with the live-in girlfriend - Against all rules, this guy has
his girl shackin' up in the same room (my neighbour in my second term, not a
pleasant experience in the evenings). Generally cool, but you do
have to hate him for flaunting it so shamelessly.

6) Floor Babe - This girl lives on the next floor and for reasons
that defy logic, she hangs out a lot with the guys on your floor,
expecially Fearless leader and any important lackeys.
Recommended Strategy: Get to be her friend as she'll introduce you
to every important and worthwile girl in the building. And if she's
single, you'll face the competition of every guy in the building for
her.

7) Computer Guy - He's got a hookup that allows him to hack into
NORAD while playing a 30 person game of Unreal tournament, and he'll
still have the time to drive you absolutely nuts about his computer
knowledge.
Recommended Strategy: Ask for computer advice. That's it

8) Campus Guy: Only goes to res to sleep and shower. Studies madly
and has no other life.
Recommended Strategy: Be his friend so he can help you during midterms
and finals, and get him out of the place so he doesn't snap like a
twig.

9) Horndog: This requires no explanation
Recommendation: What do you think?

Later people,

Michael