Sunday, September 27, 2009

A Typical Week in The Life Of...The Average Marvel Citizen

MONDAY: It’s a great time to live in where the Avengers and the Fantastic Four and all these other wonderful superbeings live in to save us all from danger and villains and monsters!

TUESDAY: Spider-Man is a Menace! I read it in the Bugle! And somebody’s got to stop the Hulk from wrecking everything in sight! The Avengers should get off their asses and take care of this stuff!

WEDNESDAY: Mutants are ruining America! Why can’t Reed Richards create some kind of ray that makes Muties normal? Because his kids are filthy Muties! I tell you I don’t know how heroic guys like Captain America can stand being in the same room as some of these abominations.

THURSDAY: These superheroes are out of control with their fights and the damage! The government needs to step in. I just don’t understand why Captain America seems so against the idea, but I’m sure his heart is in the right place. He’s just misguided because he’s so close to the issue.

FRIDAY: Captain America was a traitor who deserved what he got for being out of touch with the common man! Thank God for Tony Stark, a real American hero who knows how to look out for our interests and is going to take care of us all!

SATURDAY: Fuck Tony Stark and his weak-ass Initiative! It takes a bastard like Norman Osborn to ride herd on all these Superfreaks! We should just throw all of them into space and be done with it!
SUNDAY: Oh God! The Skrulls are invading and the Sentinels just vaporized the Capitol and Magneto just turned Los Angeles into a three-mile high metal sculpture! Norman Osborn is cackling like a moron while the Leader floods the subways with poison gas! Somebody, anybody save us!


Phil Watts, Jr. said...

"I, COBRA COMMANDER, have seen fit to bring the BLESSINGS OF COBRA DOMINATION to your pathetic little run-down municipality! We are going to bring you a NEW PROSPERITY! NEW JOBS! NEW INDUSTRY! NEW COMMERCE! All this, coupled with an end to CRIME and IMMORALITY!

...of course, this will mean curtailing a few insignificant personal freedoms that you won't even miss much!"

God, I love that issue. (Marvel's G.I. Joe #100)

You're right--the average Joe-Schmoe of the Marvel Universe are dumb as a box of doornobs. As long as I've been looking at Marvel comics, I have never understood the Mutant Prejudice angle. The same people who worship the FF and the Avengers turn around and HATE-HATE-HATE the X-Men! Why? Because they were BORN with powers...and? That's it?!

I remember an issue of JLA/Avengers when the Flash was in the Marvel universe protecting some mutant and the crowd started yelling, "HE'S PROBABLY A MUTIE TOO! KILLKILLKILLKILL!!!!" Meanwhile, the Avengers were in the DC Universe scratching their heads wondering, "Uh...we're in a place where the PEOPLE ACTUALLY RESPECT THEIR HEROES?! Something must be terribly WRONG!"

MrCynical said...

I actually do have a post detailing the rather suspect logic between mutant distrust in the MU while the Avengers and FF are tolerated (I wouldn't say so much respected however - at least, not compared to the Justice League, as you point out).