Monday, May 26, 2008

Plot Devices that Need to Go Away #2

Normally, Monday night is very busy and I just make do with one of my "what if we lived in a comic universe" posters. However, I thought tonite would be good for the second installation in the series about comic book plot devices that need to go away.

Plot Devices that need to go Away #2:


Also Known As: Pervert Suits, Nimbo suits (Ninja + Bimbo, for those of you who wanted to know), Superhero Sex Bikinis, and Buttfloss outfits.

What is it?: Take a look at the pictures here pal. It's pretty obvious.

Why do The comic book companies do it?: The short answer is "Sex Sells". The long answer is....actually, no that's really about it. I mean, you could point to the stunted emotional maturity levels of most comic fans, writers, artists, and editorial, and that'd be a wonderful answer. But it wouldn't really be the truth. Oh, it might make you feel better, until you remember that we live in a world where Megan Fox stated in her interviews for Transformers that she was cast for her ability to look good in a belly shirt while running. It's not something strictly limited to comic book fans and is part of a larger tapestry of an oversexed society.

That said, I think the superhero comicbook medium does it take to ridiculous extremes, as seen here.

Recent offenders include but are not limited to: Every Image Heroine Ever, Ultimate Scarlet Witch, Mary Marvel, Huntress, Psylocke, Elektra, Ms. Marvel, Gammora, Every female character who had a costume re-design since 1988.

Patient Zero: Now, this is hard to determine, as some degree of titilation has been present since the beginning of the genre (Wonder Woman, anyone?), but in my opinion, we can trace the point where it went completely off the rails to one of two early offenders: The 70s costumes for the Legion of Superheroes, or and I think this is far more likely, Starfire from Teen Titans pictured below.

Why it has to go away: Look, I'm a straight guy and hey, I like sexy women just fine, but can we just admit that at some point, this became puerile, immature stupidity that makes all comic book fans look like mentally-addled manchildren? Nevermind the sheer impracticallity of the outfits, or the implied sexism, or sending bad ideas to kids. This crap makes all of us, from the top of the foodchain down to YOU, the person BUYING IT, look like just a little bit like a creepy pervert who stares too long in front of the lingerie mannequins at Sears. And I don't know about you, but I can think of lots of women in my real life that I think are pretty goddamn sexy without ever having seen them in a V-Thong and fishnet fetishwear.

Angles for Redemption of the Plot Device: None. Bury this already and put some clothes on!


Anonymous said...

Yes, we must all make wonderwoman wear pants...and get Starfire a t-shirt! Failing that they should mudwrestle in a large vat of green jello.

Anonymous said...

Of course, these costumes are only an "issue" in the severely-repressed United States. Sure, they would be banned in the middle east as well, but all over Europe and in most other countries a person would hardly be considered "oversexed" for reading comics with superheroines dressed this way. I suppose acrobats & ballerinas should put on pants, too. Maybe sweaters as well, never mind that they have to move around a lot. God forbid someone should see -gasp- cleavage! Ugh. If anything, I think that comics could use a little more love & sex and a little less violence & hate.

Roxanna Meta said...

LOL @ the above commenter.

If superhero ladies had bodies like real acrobats and ballerinas, I for one would have a lot less to complain about.

Shall I start with the fake-looking boobs? Or...?