Well, I'm here to tell you that I've solved this problem. Using my brilliant engineering knowledges, maths, and punching a wall (it works for some reason; don't ask why), I've been able to find my way onto the comic blogosphere...of the FUTURE! BEHOLD, THE REVIEWS OF TOMORROW!
Secret Invasion #8 (of 8) reviewed at Every Day is Like Wednesday
"...and so after 7 issues, plus tie-ins from all three Avengers 'Franchise' titles, you'd really feel like we should have a feel for what the point of this story was about. Yes, there is the prophecy, but a prophecy isn't really a story, and we never really get to see the internal mechanics of the Skrull empire and their collective psyche well enough to feel like we understand what is going on. But we don't, and so we get a lot of real mush about how sneaky and devious Nick Fury is and how he gets his final weapon into play to save the day, but it also sets up an even more disturbing new status quo. That's the real tragedy of Marvel: that it now takes 2/3 of a year to create a new "status quo" which will be undone in three months or less by the next "summer crossover"."
Bully the Little Stuffed Bull reviews Amazing Spider-Man 571
"This comic is OK. I mean, we are supposed to have funny Spidey, and it tickles my funny bone, but it doesn't go anywhere, and you always feel like Peter is just a loser."
Ray Tate reviews Superman and the Legion of Three Worlds
"This is wrong, wrong, wrong! Mr. Johns, if you are going to write the Legion, you must write them correctly. First, you must address the actions of the Khund War, and you simply should not, at all at all, write the Legion without the greatest Legionnaire of them all, the love of Brainiac 5's life, I speak of course of Kara Zor-El. To do this would be to write Buffy without Willow. It would be as if you are writing about the Fifth Doctor without including Tegan and Turla. This cannot stand, and you should be ashamed, ashamed..."
The Invincible Super-Blog revews Final Crisis 7(of 7):
"...I'm not sure it's as groundbreaking as we in the internet wished it could have been (although, when don't we wish that?), but it did have one saving grace: Batman kicking Darkseid in the face! Thank you, Mr. Morrison."
Ahbay of the Savage Critics reviews Iron Fist: Seven Capital Cities of Heaven HC
"Iron Fist is a strange breed: It's too slow to be Fight Manga, but it's too good to be among the dreary and plodding to count as one of Marvel's Superhero comics...."
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