Thursday, February 21, 2008

The Not-So Mighty Avengers

In theory, I shouldn't dislike this Avengers' line up. After all, it obeys most of the standard formula for an Avengers Team:

-Has at least one of the "Big Three" (Cap, Iron Man, or Thor)

-Has at least one of the "Long-Time Avengers" (Hawkeye, Wasp, Hank Pym, Scarlet Witch, Vision, Wonder Man, She-Hulk, Tigra)

-Has another character with their own Solo Title (in this case, Ms. Marvel) or just finished with some recent mini-series (in this case, this would apply to Ares, Black Widow, and/or the Sentry)

-One member who has never been an Avenger before (Again, Ares)

However, a quick look at these guys and their recent behavior gives this line up the feel of a pack of morons, nitwits and just scumbags who don't deserve to win.

We'll start with the least offensive member of the current line-up:

(NOTE: Yes, I know she does somewhat redeem herself later in the issue and has been portrayed more even-handedly in Brubaker's "Captain America". Doesn't change the fact that it was an unheroic move to begin with)

OK, if any kind of logic were being applied, there is absolutely NO REASON for the Black Widow to be pro-SHRA. Consider this; nearly EVERYONE she respects or cares about (Daredevil, Hawkeye, Captain America, Hercules, Wolverine, Nick Fury) is steadfastly on the other side, and all you've got left with is the vague notion that she cares about the law above all else, which has a hard time sticking with her past as a SPY. Last I heard, there were laws against espionage in most countries.

Next up, we've got the Big Daddy of the SHRA and the 50-State Initiative

To be fair, Tony's characterization is so all over the place that he swings from "Trying to do what he thinks is best in a bad situation" to "Outright Dogmatic Fascist" that every writer currently working with him (and there's a lot of them) are getting chronic whiplash damage trying to keep up. Still, in the Mighty Avengers, he's firmly in the "asshole" mode, as he plays the passive-aggressive leader and keeps indulging in the "futurist" excuse. But I can and probably will devote a whole post to him later.

Next up, we have long time Avenger The Wasp;

Seriously, does her portrayal here give you the idea that she simply has NOTHING better to do with her time than try and play dress up with her friends? Sorry, but man, her entire shtick so far has been pretty damn annoying.

Next up, and firmly in the "Loser" category is...

Please someone tell me what Wonder Man's powers currently are? Last time I checked in was during the Busiek/Perez era Avengers, where he had to "transform into ionic energy" to have flight and superstrength and such. So is he now back to using that "rocket belt" to fly? Can he just fly on his own despite never having had that particular power to my knowledge? Sorry, just one of those things I can't follow.

Next up, in the "Loose Cannon" category:

Ares, God of War. Yes, this remarkable guy has taken the first opportunity to abuse his position of power to settle an ancient vendetta and put his teammates in a friendly fire situation. Nice guy, really. And you just know he won't get any kind of reprimand for this. AT ALL.

And what about the Current Team Leader, Ms. Marvel?

Ahem. Yes, that about says it all, doesn't it? Seriously, when the best thing that can be said about your series is that it spends too much time on the main character, when we really could have more Aaron Stack commentary, then that is saying something indeed.

Finally, we've got our top offender, the worst of the very very worst of Mary Sue Characters to have invaded Marvel....

God I hate this guy. HATE HATE HATE him. Seriously, if there was ever a case of a Mary Sue character who just jumps in and the writers DEMAND that we respect this guy and his so-called "heroism" while all he does is angst and cry, then this is him. Seriously Marvel, WTF?

That is all for now.

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